I can’t imagine how disillusioned and disappointed they felt. In one day, their hopes, dreams and plans vanished, as they stared at Jesus, dead on a cross. The one they had given their lives, and their livelihoods, to follow: Dead. In 2020, we have the benefit of knowing that the story doesn’t end with Jesus dying on the cross. That on Easter Sunday, He miraculously rose from the dead. But his disciples, friends and family didn’t know the full story during the long hours that spanned from Jesus’s death until they found His tomb empty on Easter Sunday morning. And
Read moreI’ve been afraid to hope. I feel like my adult life has been full of so many overwhelming challenges, unexpected turns, and blows to my hopes that it has put me in a place where I am afraid to extend that fragile vine of light. It’s not that I’ve been hope-less. There is a difference between being afraid to hope and having no hope. Being hopeless looks like in-the-pit despair; feeling like there is no path forward; being at the end of yourself with no energy, gumption or will to move on. Being afraid to hope feels more like disappointment;
Read moreMost days, I feel like a work horse. My life is full of obligations that live on repeat. At home there is the never-ending cycle of laundry, cooking and cleaning, school drop-offs, shaken up with a doctors appointment every now and again. At work, it’s bookkeeping, reconciling checkbooks, onboarding and offboarding employees, and all of the details in between. Some days, it feels like I continually pour myself out, only to be left completely empty at the end of the day…and then I need to wake up and do it all again the next day. On one such day recently, I
Read moreHome ownership came with a lot of life lessons, especially concerning our septic system. As a kid, I’d always grown up with the convenience of sewer lines…you flush the toilet, and it all disappears. It turns out that septic systems require a bit more attention. Unfortunately, I didn’t discover this until four years into home ownership, when our septic lines started failing, leaking sewage into a nearby stream. It wasn’t good. I don’t remember the name of the man who taught me how to take care of my septic system, but I remember one thing: He was passionate about them.
Read moreAt the top of Glacier Point Road, I gazed down at Yosemite Valley, 2,000 feet directly below and thought, “Gosh, if my car could just fly, I’d be down there in 30 seconds.” Instead, it took 1.25 hours to navigate the mountain roads down to Yosemite Valley, behind a long line of tourist traffic. Similarly, on my morning commute, I slowed my car down to a painful 25 miles per hour to exit the highway, thinking, “if my car could just jump off the bridge, I wouldn’t be so bored, with all of this slowing down nonsense…” But I drove the clover
Read more“Where do you work?” This simple question has a way of turning into a serious discussion, when you work for a nonprofit organization. “I work for an organization that fights the sex trade in Cambodia,” the woman said to me. Just like that, the small talk was over, because how do you say something trite like, “How interesting!” when you realize that someone is taking their very best talents and applying it to helping…truly helping…helpless people? She told me American businessmen go to Cambodia to have sex with children. When the founder of her organization first went to Cambodia, a
Read moreI sprained my ankle in Memphis, which meant my life in Tennessee began with a large black boot on my left foot. As I hobbled around our house, trying to unpack, I lifted a box of bubble wrapped dinner plates from a box, and was suddenly struck by a searing pain in my lower back that felt like I was being stabbed by a knife. The horrible, guttural scream that erupted from my body brought my family running to my side, one grabbing the stack of plates from my hands, the others trying to move me to the couch. I
Read more“Your life is not your own.” The first time I heard that statement echoing in my head was in 2015. I had a new baby, two kids I was homeschooling, and I was helping my husband run our small business during the busiest season of its existence. As I tried to balance working with teaching and running my home, it seemed like my life never stopped. I felt like a circus performer, constantly turning to the next act, keeping the balls spinning, trying to keep everyone happy, and all of the details accounted for. I felt like I was failing
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Faith, Joy, More Posts, Work
Life started out with great, big dreams… When I was a teenager, I dreamt of being an anchor person for the Today Show. A small-town girl, I longed to live in New York City: a place full of nightlife, action and the endless possibility of being “discovered” and made instantly famous. That dream came to a halt my freshman year in college when I worked at my college TV station. I found myself surrounded by cranky, stressed-out people who agonized to produce a newscast every night at six, only to have to do it again, and again, and again…a never
Read moreGrace settles softly, A cheerful chirp like delight mixed with my cynical disbelief. I deserved so much worse; I was waiting for so much more. Grace breathes Her life into crushed hopes, a gentle whisper at a time; A friendly whiff of encouragement once, twice, until… Grace begins to live a life of Her own; Outside of me, Yet from me And I lay myself down again to be this channel of Grace, This echo of Hope, one decisive moment at a time. Susan Seiling, 2018
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